Up in the Air

by Leslie Rixman

I won't ever forget the day I moved to Baltimore. Not because blah blah insert life changing experience here. I wont forget the day I moved to Baltimore because I had the absolute worst flight experience of my life. Now, this really all started a few days prior when Bob gifted me a cold from his travels in New York City. However, all was fine the morning of the move. 

So we board. We are comfortably seated in the back of the plane. And we both get middle seats. I can’t speak for Robert but my seatmates were very pleasant people. Everything is normal. We take off. And then it starts… 

My ears start continuously popping, alternating between the left and the right ear and before I know it, the plane turns into a sauna. I turn on my A/C and let the cool air hit the back of my neck as my head spins, but it may be too late. My neighbor to the left is up out of his seat and out of my way before I even have a chance to ask. I toss my iPad to the ground and race to the back of the plane. 

Here is where is gets embarrassing.

I reach the very back of the plane. At this point I am a little dizzy and slightly disoriented. I could not find the bathroom. Ah but allas! There is a flight attendant on the ground prepping snacks. Too scared to bend over to reach her or speak loudly the best I could do was… gently tap her on the head.  This did not go well. She so angrily responded, “Did you just tap me on the head?!” So at this point I am A) mortified, B) no closer to the bathroom, and C) two seconds from vomiting on her. So I muster up the strength to quietly apologize and ask for the restroom. After she angrily directs me to the bathroom I reach my destination!

I wonder how Robert’s flight was?