By Bryson Beach
It’s six-something in the morning and there I lay knowing the ominous sound is coming any moment. The sound of an alarm clock! Another day of sluggishly climbing the mountain of stairs from my parents’ basement towards the shower was upon me. Thirty minutes later, I’d be boarding a bus where I claimed one of the back seats. Years of growing and waiting and yearning had paid off as I now had the seniority to get that coveted back seat. That sacred backseat where I could plug in my earphones, turn up my iPod and sleep until the big yellow vehicle pulled up to the place I put in several enjoyable hours a day, Shelby County High School. That really did seem like yesterday, but in the blink of an eye, I’m lying in bed 10 years later knowing it’ll be time to get up for work before I feel fully revitalized from staying up watching TV too late the night before. I’m not riding a bus anymore, but my iPod is still getting some run as the instrument of sound. This time “Laffy Taffy” is bumping. A song from my senior year that’s less appropriate now than it was back then when I giggled at the secret meaning (don’t ask, look it up at your own risk).
I know I mainly do reviews on here and try to keep it light, but I’ll be damned if it hasn’t been 10 years since I graduated high school. Annnnnd, the big 10 year reunion is right around the corner. I just felt the need to reflect and put it in a bit of personal perspective. I don’t know how this will turn out as I write it, but I’ll try to keep it lighthearted and funny as that’s who I basically am. But if this gets as sappy as The Notebook or A Walk To Remember, it’s okay! Drake totally made it cool for light skin brothers like me to be sensitive right? Maybe?
So, for those who weren’t exactly thriving in one of Mr. Pippen’s math classes, I graduated 10 years ago as in 2006. I had long hair, a part time job flipping burgers, a beautiful junior-to-be girlfriend, and a partial scholarship to attend the University of Louisville. I was anxious and eager to approach the next step of my life, but I couldn’t forget all the memories between the halls those four years. Now, I could use some revisionist history and tell you how awesome everything was. Or I could tell you how lame everything was. I feel like socially and experience wise, I was somewhere in between. I played on the football team two years, did Track & Field (mainly and exclusively field) three years and was in several school plays and musicals. Mrs. Skellie has such an eye for my diverse talents she cast me as a singing sassy black woman in a MacBeth parody. (All photo evidence has been deleted). Of course, I’d be remised to not mention I peeked way too early in life when I was selected class president senior year. As Curtis Jackson famously asked: “Damn, homie. In High school you were the man, homie. What the (heck) happened to you!?”
Then there was the part of me who never went to a ‘party’. Sure, I went to nice adult-chaperoned functions, but I never snuck out or went to any get together with peers where *gasp* alcohol was involved. Outside of going to sporting events, I was probably just hanging out in the DQ parking lot like a real champion.
Oh yeah, and I only had one girlfriend the entire time I went to high school. I was a real ladies man, fo’ sho. My mind was in such a different place back then I took French over the much more practical and useful Spanish class because I thought I could use it to impress the opposite sex and speak romantically. No one wants to hear that! Not even the corniest of hopeless romantics! Seriously, though I was pretty corny in some aspects. It’s hilarious to look back on, if we’re being honest. Never the less, shout out to Vince for giving me all those rides over the my vehicle-less years and also shout out to Dave, Brady, Shawn, & co almost causing me to drown the day before graduation. You know black people don’t swim!
Despite worrying I wasn’t super cool and popular in high school, I enjoyed the experience. No cell phone, no bills, and no responsibilities outside of maintaining my grades and cleaning my room. Perhaps, a bit naïve, I had super high hopes for my myself the day I finished up my illustrious grade-school career. This next section is where I examine a little perception vs reality. If you had one of those fancy remotes Adam Sandler had in Click and hit rewind, this is where 18-year old Bryson Tyler Beach would see himself with a little interjection from today’s B-Squared.
18 Year Old Bryson: “Well, first I would like to say a huge thank you to all the teachers who supported me during my time here, I feel that I’ve had more than enough ample preparation for—“
28 Year Old Bryson: “Bruh, just answer the question, quit trying to sound so proper and smart”
18: “Uh.. sorry, sorry, right! Well in 10 years I see myself as successful financially as well as respected in the community for being a family man”
28: There you go again, Brys. Man, be specific, I need you to be specific so I have somethin’ to write about!
18: “I don’t know if I like where this going, but if you need me to elaborate I will. I see myself graduating with my business degree from U of L. That will propel me to owning or running my own business of some kind. Preferably I’d make $100 K a year and be in the highest tax bracket and lend a decent amount to diabetic research. Perhaps I’ll be a music mogul producing quality hip hop and r&b. Also, I also have a solid plan for love. I will graduate around 22 and my hope is to be married by 23, have my first child at 25, second at 27, and third and final at 30 while being married to a lovely woman. I don’t need a drop dead unanimously sexy woman, but rather one that would be considered very attractive by everyone and have a drive that matches my own! Though, in the interest of full disclosure I’d like to make enough that she can stay at home and do whatever she’d like! By the time the 10 year reunion rolls around I would like to pull up in limo to reaffirm my prestige, but still be able to maintain my status as well-liked amongst my classmates. I think it will be magical!”
28: You’re very optimistic. I’m gonna have to let you down easy, kid.
I really was pretty optimistic and there’s nothing wrong with that. By all means, everyone should shoot for the stars and if you miss, you can always land on the moon. I took my shots, not all of them with the precision of Steph Curry, but I took mine. Now, when I wanted to be some big music mogul right? It hasn’t exactly happened save for those times I thought I could rap. I feel like everyone in my hometown takes a shot at dropping a fire mixtape at some point in time. Enjoy my failures below (Sorry Ashley!)
Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! I do not operate in the highest tax bracket. In fact, I’ve only had 3 jobs my own life. There was that coming-of-age job flippin’ burgers and takin’ orders at Mickey D’s. While a lot of people had fast food gigs or even laughed, I can take some pride in it. I began when I was 16, worked on and off through school to make some extra spending money and wouldn’t you know it, I became a manager. I’d still be hookin’y’all up on the low if I didn’t move onto the bank. Come to think of it, I think I gave Edgar Sosa free food in the drive thru once. Please don’t further sanction my Cards, NCAA! Then there was a two year spell as a teller before transitioning to what I do now. I don’t make that ridiculous sum of money I thought I’d need but all my bills are paid on time and I just purchased a new whip in February. Shoutout to Carmen Elantra. So is it really so bad?
Now, you know that whole thing where 18 year old me wanted to get on this marriage by 23, first kid at 25 plan? That sounded so attainable and feasible back then. Now all I can do is laugh at the notion. Let me paint a picture for you. If I were in the UFC, this is how Bruce Buffer would introduce me: “The challenger, fighting out of the red corner. Fighting out of the Biz Markie gym in Friendzone, USA. Bryson “You’re like a brother to me” Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaachhh!”
So basically I am not yet married, nor do I have any children. For the kids out there, I don’t have a bae, a boo, a ride or die, baby mama, etc.! I wasted so much time worrying about how people would perceive me based on who I was dating and chose to ignore the warning signs from other perspective lovers because I get these crazy ideas in my heads that hints are there when they’re not. Then at some point, I decided maybe I’m just too fricken nice. Maybe I needed an edge to become a ‘bad boy’ so to speak. So there, in the not so distant mid-twenties I couldn’t figure out to keep being nice ol’ Bryson or be a savage: a scumbag who tries to act like a heartless womanizer. That definitely wasn’t me, but I think I’ve found a happy medium. I try to look at it objectively, I’m only 28 and I’ve had my missteps and breakups, but that doesn’t mean the world is over and I should listen to my Heartbreak mix forever (seriously, I got a playlist for everything). Sometimes I see peers and other people in my general age group boast that they’ve reached a certain age and am proud to be single and childless. To each their own, but I get a little envious when I see old classmates posting way too many pictures of their kids, or dressing siblings up in similar stuff. There’s that soft sentimental side of me again! She’s out there and I’ll find her sooner than later and we’ll have beautiful babies with beautiful curly hair… like their daddy.
The truth is I went to college to pursue my degree in Economics. I felt that would enable me to do anything in the world of business and that still holds true today. College represented a lot of new things for me. There was the opportunity to make new friends, the chance to really further my education, and freedom. Mom and pop weren’t there to look over my shoulder and spurn me on through love or sheer wickedness. At the end of the day, I didn’t live up to their expectations. And I sure as hell fell short of my own. I could point fingers everywhere else, and I was likely too quick to do that years ago, but it falls all on me for goofing around, staying up late, and constantly heading to the SAC (Student Activity Center) to stuff my face with Wendy’s instead of studying. I ain’t lying, that “Freshman 15” was like a “Freshman 150” for me, and I’ve never been a little dude. That burden of letting my parents down and failing to set the right path for my little brother to follow still weighs on me. I feel like the mighty Titan Atlas sometimes, but instead of hoisting up the world, I was struggling to hoist up expectations I should have utterly destroyed. But, the college years were fun even if I learned a bit more about myself out the classroom.
I did learn some sick dance moves at U of L though:
I understand I’ve painted the picture of failure here. I certainly didn’t fulfill the vision my parents had or set that tremendous precedent for my little brother to follow. This will sound cliché, but the story is still being written. Orange is the New Black. Ben Simmons is the next Lebron. And given I’m 28, and 28 is basically 30, then 30 is the new 20! Solid logic there truly. What I’m trying to convey is that I didn’t get that great burst from the starting line, but there’s still time to accomplish my goal, take ahold of my dreams, and try to take over the world like Pinky & The Brain. There was a while there where I fell into complete complacency with life, and while one cannot truly change their mindset overnight, I’m beginning to see the light once more. It’s a process, but I firmly believe I got this as long as I stay disciplined and honest with myself.
So here I am 10 years later, Bryson Beach, the medical bill collector, giddy and anxious about the chance to mix it up with some of the people I was proud to roam the halls with back in the day. I keep in touch with a lot of my peers and I’ve mentioned several in this post and previous Crabicurious movie reviews (nothing wrong with a shameless plug) like Emanuel, Pat, Brady, Dave, Ashley, Drew and others. I had no manual to plan this 10 year reunion coming up, but I’m truly thankful for the likes of Maggie, Emily, and Candace for doing much of the heavy lifting as we got this event figured out. I loved my time in high school, I loved my time in Shelbyville, and I have a lot of love for all my classmates. So even if it’s only one more night together without cliques and labels, let’s make the most of it and continue to write all our stories. Peace out!
